What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
