i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
