ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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