Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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