She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
