Me too!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
