fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
