I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
