fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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