You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
