I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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