If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
