I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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