Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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