rhymes with "ouble enetration"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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