i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
