Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show http://tfl.nu/lemk
  Replies (22) Good night (2896) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA. http://tfl.nu/w336
  Replies (52) Good night (1896) Bad night (4100)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches. http://tfl.nu/ic23
  Replies (28) Good night (621) Bad night (7134)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (754): you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse http://tfl.nu/okem
  Replies (14) Good night (1066) Bad night (3551)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Then she called me a home wrecking whore. (1-702): dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count. http://tfl.nu/bp07
  Replies (15) Good night (6051) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time. http://tfl.nu/zvvg
  Replies (7) Good night (3333) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks http://tfl.nu/aq4e
  Replies (8) Good night (2399) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off. http://tfl.nu/q67j
  Replies (8) Good night (4031) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy. http://tfl.nu/ck7x
  Replies (18) Good night (1361) Bad night (2584)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis http://tfl.nu/68pm
  Replies (5) Good night (2587) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there http://tfl.nu/265p
  Replies (7) Good night (1507) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like. http://tfl.nu/c9vg
  Replies (8) Good night (427) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that? http://tfl.nu/r624
  Replies (8) Good night (1550) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse. http://tfl.nu/jtdy
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use... http://tfl.nu/rs5j
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (988)

Randomize