Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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  (248): The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo ! http://tfl.nu/e5q2
  Replies (5) Good night (1517) Bad night (806)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town

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  (215): you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town http://tfl.nu/6oiy
  Replies (13) Good night (4169) Bad night (720)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

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  (443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8
  Replies (16) Good night (2185) Bad night (6959)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..

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  (503): I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus.. http://tfl.nu/6jqk
  Replies (12) Good night (1242) Bad night (3793)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...

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  (517): I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall... http://tfl.nu/myki
  Replies (18) Good night (10086) Bad night (2348)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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  (425): WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?! http://tfl.nu/ccm6
  Replies (7) Good night (2810) Bad night (1279)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?

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  (301): do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit? http://tfl.nu/0117
  Replies (6) Good night (1292) Bad night (684)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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  (781): he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me" http://tfl.nu/6fll
  Replies (16) Good night (1704) Bad night (2795)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.

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  (519): Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/0nuz
  Replies (2) Good night (1540) Bad night (1210)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
  Replies (13) Good night (1409) Bad night (675)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
  Replies (10) Good night (657) Bad night (941)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy

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  (205): Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies. (1-205): I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy http://tfl.nu/dpsc
  Replies (4) Good night (478) Bad night (318)
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  (925): View more from California

  Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.

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  (925): Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties. http://tfl.nu/9kne
  Replies (2) Good night (676) Bad night (1064)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.

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  (432): Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it. http://tfl.nu/j4lk
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (473)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail

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  (802): Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail http://tfl.nu/7jig
  Replies (4) Good night (351) Bad night (502)

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