God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
