He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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