thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Bring me that man meat
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
