they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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