I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
