she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
