She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
