you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
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