At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
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I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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