i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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