yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
