You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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