HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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