ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
In the future we'll all be gay
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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