We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
