i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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