i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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