I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
