i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
