I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
