i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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