But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
