He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
