life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
