I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
