im six kinds of drunk right now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
