Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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