All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
