worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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