checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
