so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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