Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  no jk, not my room

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  (602 ): Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room? (602): no jk, not my room http://tfl.nu/i2zn
  Replies (4) Good night (3185) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/3y00
  Replies (65) Good night (8355) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

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  (908): I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep http://tfl.nu/s4hd
  Replies (41) Good night (1380) Bad night (4057)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.

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  (412): I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon. http://tfl.nu/2tzw
  Replies (5) Good night (3658) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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  (330): Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt. http://tfl.nu/yvoh
  Replies (10) Good night (1875) Bad night (4329)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

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  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1706) Bad night (8234)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (13694) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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  (+66): A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure http://tfl.nu/u013
  Replies (24) Good night (6953) Bad night (1893)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

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  (504): Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober? http://tfl.nu/e9ou
  Replies (9) Good night (1266) Bad night (3311)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.

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  (801): She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever. http://tfl.nu/p8e4
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (4121)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.

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  (419): I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/xmxl
  Replies (10) Good night (2656) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.

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  (610): I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands. (908): Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful. http://tfl.nu/kbfw
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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  (304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8
  Replies (10) Good night (621) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.

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  (503): You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner. http://tfl.nu/k4un
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!

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  (603): He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state! http://tfl.nu/c11d
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (279)

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