it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you would pick up someone in the library
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dating After Heartbreak
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.