she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do vagina's smell?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?