Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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