We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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