..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
