You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He felt like a one man threesome
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
