u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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