Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
