before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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