she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize