she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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