Is it normal to miss your booty call?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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