She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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