How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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